by Queen GitcheeLaser copy

Flaps. That word just kind of blows out of your mouth when you say it. Go on say it and notice how your facial lips go all floppy and do a bit of a trout pout. A little bit like the word fanny only better.images

I must say  the word, flaps  usually illicit giggles and a visual in my mind of a well dressed woman with um er…”elephant ears” dangling and swinging low beneath  her Judith Hobby chic jersey knit dress….

I was recently privileged to stay with my good friend, in the extremely well groomed U.A.E and after a pleasant afternoon spent wondering around a mall, the discussion turned to Vaginal Rejuvenation while we licked our frozen yoghurts. You see she had recently been for her 6 months post natal check up and after getting the all clear, the doctor kindly offered to give her a bit of a trim of the ol floppy flaps.  Yep the doctor offered her Vjayjay a bit of a rejuvenation treatment, a bit of a nip and a tuck.The “carrot on a stick” was she could do it within the next 3 months for free because my friend could claim it on her health insurance……BUT time was against her  as the rules would change soon. So just like her biological clock ticking away her labia’s future was hanging by a thread.

Now labiaplasty in the Middle East  is as common as breast implants in Brazil these days but does that mean it is necessary and safe? We debated the topic in a respectful manner discussing the pro’s and cons of the “trim”. 

The pros

  • less fanny farts
  • no camel toe
  • greater visual pleasure for the husbando

The cons

  • pain
  • suffering
  • potential damage if poorly done resulting in unenjoyable sex

We both acknowledged that many of us would love to see the tidy little “lips” of a 18 year old pouting back at us in the mirror *(just as long  the reflection is not The 18 year old nanny when you bust her in bed with your husband)   

….anyway what i mean is …. un- flappy girlie bits are a dream and the reality is possible nerve damage, lots of post surgery pain and girly bits that no longer match the body of a beautiful expat mumma. 

However, the push of unscrupulous doctors playing on an “am I good enough mind” added to the vaginal rejuvenation signs we often get bombarded with, along with  and so many beautiful Russian women completely camel toeless on the beaches in their bikinis and  finally that  distant memory of  neat little pre (vaginal )birth flaps pushes us to consider the operation. 

…….and  to think I thought full lips  and wild hair were all the go.Unknown

see you later I  am off to the Gp for a check up.


*That  story I heard about the nanny and the Italian husband is just idle  compound gossip and not to be taken seriously.That gorgeous African babysitter could not possibly have been at that French lady’s home during the day and her husband dutifully goes of too work with his Italian sausage each morning! Her kids are school age and he clearly takes his lunch to work.