FitExpat-Part III by Andy Mayer
The Charity Givers
Not to be confused with the “exercise apathy “ group or the “charity by guilt” group (because they are rarely seen exercising or knocking back booze at Charity do’s), these women dedicate their expat expertise to improving the lives of the indigenous population they see slogging it out each day . They have a genuine desire for outcomes that are for the betterment of people’s lives.They set up amazing initiatives and charities in hospitals,orphanages or schools,they offer supply chain solutions, training courses , improvements to health care facilities, pro bono work and more. Some brave charity givers set up their own school, childcare facility or orphanage and are locked in for life.
You don’t see these ladies very often, they travel a lot and spend exorbitant amounts of time rustling up funding through Consulate officials, NGO’s, available grants and corporate sponsors. Mostly these women work in the background preferring not to take any limelight for their work and are often an enigma. “Oh I have heard about her but never met her”, or ” Yes I heard her once speak at a International Women’s Association meeting, she was so interesting” .
Charity Givers usually send a Proxy to rally support in the expat community and to hustle for the much needed dollars for their work to be sustainable. Perhaps their expat high earning husbands have turned off the tap?
The Proxy’s are usually the social butterflies and shmooze and wine and dine to get the cash. They are not backward in coming forward and will slug you at any opportunity they get. Their bosses are pretty tough ladies and expect them to pull in the support locally so they only engage the tough women to do the Proxy job.
The Charity Giver is often a straight haired, post middle aged, bespeckled and nearly always semi grey haired women with a rather stern personality ( much likened to a school headmistress from the early 1900’s). She is the one that Shhhhhhhh’s you to be quiet at the Charity ball and has a name like Christina, Julie, Joan, Didi, Bizzie, Gilly or Indigo Prushpika Gallows-Holloway. They are long term expats who,in their youth back in the 60’s, probably did the hippy trail from London to India and were in the Famous Pudding Shop in Istanbul smoking hash with the guy from Midnight Express or knew someone that did!.
Their counterpart “The Proxy” will be a vivacious 40 something year old with a strong network of women in her expat community that will support her bosses charity because a) they are scared of her b) she is a scary kickboxing 6ft blonde or c) they are the Charity by Guilt givers and only need a little poke to hand over their tithe/zakat money, buy a ticket to the ball or a raffle ticket, d) she is the head of the dive club or other fun social club that women want to be a part of e) she knows a great hairdresser who does blonde highlights really well
The Charity Giver and The Proxy co-exist with the big busted Bakers and usually engage the Future Bakers to hustle the Exercise Expats into coughing up for quilts, raffle tickets, cupcakes and tickets to the ball.
So in summary the exercise group are on the outer and sometimes considered naughty and caught up in Expat life by the other 2 groups, but are needed for their ability to support charities.
So there you have it 3 types of Expat Women and their subgroups!
“Well what about you , you pompous blogging cow?” I hear you ask.
Well I don’t fit into any of the categories.
- I can’t won’t don’t bake
- I outsource cheese platters
- I yo yo between kickboxing, personal training , yoga, running and drinking champagne.
- I had to excuse myself from the PTG for turning up to a meeting at school a bit Hoo Haaa-ed from a late night the night before.
- I humiliated the PTG secretary by sending a joke agenda for the next meeting which she accidentally printed and circulated to the committee. ****
- I lied about attending teacher appreciation day and went for a pedicure when I actually told them I had to work.
- I use my “work” as an excuse to tell people I am not an Expat Wife.
- I don’t like quilts
*****I might publish that one day for a laugh!