by Queen Gitchee
Why don’t Muslim countries sell tampons? I am running frantically up and down the “Girlie Stuff ” isle in the supermarket.This is the 4th big store I have run into today. “ I will be 5 mins no need to come in” I say to the driver. At least the stores have all been consistent, they have no tampons. This isle is chock a block full of every conceivable brand of pads, panty liners, adult diapers and douches I think I even spotted a hymen restoration gel. There are glittery pink packets and gels and intimate washes but not one box of tampons. Clearly that hymen gel shopper must have got the last box of tampons.
OMG I thought the world had changed in the last 6 years. In the past who hasn’t filled their suitcase full of tampon boxes when moving to a new country? Yep they are shoved end to end in your tennis shoes lying next to lice Shampoo, blonde hair dye and Rexona Clinical deodorant. They get crushed by a packet of Chia seeds and Tim Tams. I could go on but digresss…
I did not pack any tampons in my suitcase when we moved, they are in the shipping container bobbing around at sea, possibly literally as our container is MIA. I was positive I saw lots of them in the aisles when we came for our “look see”. Far out at the souk you can get horny pills, viagra, tightening cream, nipple whitener, all over body wax, sexy lingerie and XXX lube, condoms and hot stuff cream but you can’t buy a box of tampax!
What the hell is happening. I want to be like the girls in the adverts right now where before I used to think those ads were so stupid. Tampons don’t liberate you they cause all sorts of debate and consternation for the insertee.
Oh yes who hasn’t defended ones actions in front of an American about applicators versus good ol fingers, who hasn’t left a tampon in too long and googled Toxic shock syndrome and who hasn’t gotten all flustered over not being able to get one in while changing positions in a restaurant bathroom?
Oh but I really wanted to horse ride, skateboard, swim and run with a tampon just like those ads promised me, a total liberation from fear of bleeding everywhere to a realistic view that I can be sporty spice or rambo apparently!
Ok it is true tampons do allow you to do whatever you want without feeling like you have a king size mattress between your legs. The truth hit me hard in that supermarket isle. No swimming for me today, no running in my leggings( hey don’t pipe up about the fact leggings are NOT pants right now, I know that) no wearing skinny jeans for me. Even in my Thai fisherman’s pants or flowing dress I feel everyone can see my surfboard sized pad between my legs. I fear super human senses will be able to smell the fact I have my period and OMG what if I stand up to walk from this coffee shop and there is a tell tale stain! All those things Tampons promise are true. Dog’s never sniff my crotch when I wear a tampon but whack in a pad an hey presto it’s like I have a dog treat between my legs!
How many times have I walked down the girlie aisle in my home country and balked at the ridiculous amounts of tampon boxes while I muttered how much I disliked being a woman? How many tampons have I left in handbags, purses, coat pockets,bathroom draws, car glove boxes and make up bags? Hundreds, but today I have none. How many times have I asked another woman for a tampon and been handed one like a drug dealer handing over the goods. No questions asked just a knowing nod. Sisters of the realm. Except when it’s a super size one then I get all flustered about “getting it in”
I don’t have any solid friends here yet. One woman I am making friends with told me she didn’t use them. Never had! She said the first time she used one she broke her virginity and it scared her off tampons FOREVER. The shock of her not having any little white things overcame the visual image in my head of what she just told me. I nodded and teared up a little and shifted uncomfortably because somehow my pad’s sticky WINGS had stuck to my pubic hair ! OWWWW
ok so what is the point of my rant. CAREFREE please SELL Tampons in Muslim countries They have nothing to do with SEX.